Talking Therapy
What happens in a talking therapy session?
Originally I trained in integrative therapy and am continually learning about a variety of approaches
to counselling so have a lot to draw on as I work with each individual or couple who comes to me for support.
I have a great respect for person-centred counselling, where the underlying belief is that, given the
right conditions (empathy, unconditional positive regard and congruence), you will be able to progress
without lots of questions or suggestions by me. So in my therapy room you will have space to take your
time and work things through for yourself without having me jump in all the time with quick solutions.
Additionally, I have found great worth in other approaches including compassion-focused therapy
and cognitive behavioural therapy, so sometimes I respectfully offer ideas or exercises from these approaches
to help you move forwards.
How long does it take?
For some individuals or couples just a few sessions may be enough; most people will require longer. I
offer open-ended counselling where from time to time we review together where you believe you are in the
process; beginning, middle or end.
If you feel you are approaching the end of counselling, it’s usually helpful to agree together how many
more sessions you would like to have, so that we can work towards a good ending (or a “soft landing”!).
Generally, the longer you’ve been in therapy, the longer it’s helpful to give to this stage.
Why “Three Cairns”?
A cairn is a Scottish word for a pile of stones gradually assembled by pilgrims on a journey.
As each pilgrim reaches a landmark point they place a stone on the pile where others have done the
same, and over time it becomes a cairn. Three cairns that clients commonly reach during therapy
relate to feeling, meaning and movement.
Cairn 1: Feeling
One cairn along the way is that of acknowledging and expressing your feelings. Taking time to
look at what's been going on for you and admitting it, while often hard, can be a great relief.
Depending on your preference, I find that a mixture of talking things through, writing and other
creative techniques can really help you connect with your emotions, understand them and find some
lasting healing.
Cairn 2: Meaning
Another cairn is that of searching for and creating meaning in your life, as well as finding
patterns in your experience that help make some sense of how you have arrived where you are today.
Sometimes in climbing towards this cairn there
is a moment of clarity where something from your past suddenly throws light on your current dilemma,
and again this new self-awareness can help you become freer and more able to make your own unique choices.
Cairn 3: Movement
Expression, searching for meaning, growing in self-awareness... it's all heading towards the third cairn,
which is one that you might find surprisingly pragmatic. This is where you've been working through an issue,
facing up to your feelings about it, gaining some understanding about how you might have developed it and
now you are more equipped to make some choices. The third cairn is where you may choose to tweak or
entirely overhaul one or more of your patterns in the expectation that this will open up a new way for you.